I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
