Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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