I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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