Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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