I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
