dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
