this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
