Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
