Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
