HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
