tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
