White coat. Heels.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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