So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
