just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
