we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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