I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sorry about my life...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
