Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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