we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
