yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
