bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
