Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
