There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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