i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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