you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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