i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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