normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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