remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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