if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
