my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
