# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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