Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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