I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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