shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
