Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
