my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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