Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize