I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
