My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My cat gives me a boner
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
