Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
