Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
