He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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