Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
