im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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