I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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