We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
