i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
In America we eat man semen.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I will be naked everywhere
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
