we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I have fence marks all over my body
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
