Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize