READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
