On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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