Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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