just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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