I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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