batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
