She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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