Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I touched a dick in church today
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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