I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
