He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
