it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I had to cum in my sink.
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