Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
