Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
