there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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