ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
