If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
