I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
