You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
