I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize