She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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