if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
