I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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