i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
